


Not crazy

by imera



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Canon, F/M, Mental Breakdown, Mind Control
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-19
Updated: 2013-08-19
Packaged: 2017-12-24 01:18:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/933425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imera/pseuds/imera
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She's not crazy, that was what she kept telling herself, but normal people didn't hear voices.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not crazy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Taste_of_Suburbia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taste_of_Suburbia/gifts).



> A quick pinch hit.
> 
> Sorry that it's short, and that it's unbetaed, I just hope it doesn't have too many mistakes.
> 
> I wanted to write something more romantic, but I love the beginning of their 'relationship'.

_I’m not crazy,_ Lydia kept repeating to herself as she sat in front of the mirror, applying foundation. It had become a part of her morning routine, telling herself that she was completely sane, while constantly being reminded she wasn’t.

He was always there, in the back of her head, whispering words to her which sent a chilled feeling through her spine, as well as a heat to her cheeks, forcing her to look away from her reflection.

She wished she could tell someone, but she wasn’t stupid, and knew admitting that she heard voices would only get her locked up, or heavily medicated. It was best to keep quiet, to try her best and ignore the whispers.

Returning to school wasn’t at all what she thought it would be like. It was not like summer holiday, when they hadn’t seen each other a few months; it couldn’t even be compared to when people meet the ones they used to go to school with years after they parted. It was nothing like that, not when Lydia had been the main discussion while she was gone.

Their eyes followed her, probably trying to see what was different with her, if she was hurt, weak. Lydia did not show them any weakness, they would probably eat her alive if they thought for once that she was changed, and she really liked her life to willingly give it up.

The day quickly passed when she had Allison by her side, and even the voice was gone.

She had less than an hour left when things started to crumble, when her breath wouldn’t stay at a normal peace, when it felt as if hear heart would explode, and the room felt way to small, suffocating her.

All she had to do was lift her hand and the teachers would let her leave without another question.

Quickly she made it out of the classroom and walked towards the closest bathroom, needing to be alone in order to breathe.

She didn’t bother seeing if she was alone before bending across the sink, revealingly reminding herself she needed to breathe and calm down.

 _'You’re doing fine,'_ the voice said, breaking its silence and reminding her she wasn’t alone.

“Shut up,” he replied. It had no right trying to calm her down when it was the cause of her misery.

 _'You’re strong,'_ it continued.

“Shut up,” she repeated, turning the water on, washing her face with two shaking hands.

_'You’re not crazy.'_

“I AM!” she screamed, closing her eyes so tight until it looked like a black and white kaleidoscope, not helping her sanity at all. She was reminded about something her mother said when she was hysterical after returning home: The world is crazy, nobody are normal, it’s just a view of perspective.

She was right, Lydia knew that, but she wasn’t so stupid that she believed the voices in her mind were normal.

In the beginning she would tell herself her mind was playing tricks on her, but it became harder to ignore the voices. As time passed her own voice drowned, and all she heard was his, comforting her, telling her that everything would be just fine.

Wanting to believe him, she allowed the voice to talk with her, taking her far away from reality until crazy didn’t seem to be an issue any longer. It became harder to return to reality the deeper into insanity she fell.

It was he who brought her back, the voice. Lydia asked him why he did it, why he didn’t let her go crazy, and the answer she received was that he had a plan.

He did have a plan, and it involved her.

She should have known it wouldn’t end well, no stories of people hearing voices ended well, but slowly she trusted him. She should also have known something was different the day the voices almost stopped, the day she met him, the young boy who had a way of speaking to her until she actually trusted him. She should have known, but she hadn’t.

The shock that passed through her when she realised what would happen was nothing compared to the way her mind ripped into two different parts as she tried to pull herself back to reality and the voice, which she had once trusted, pulled her into the darkness.

The nightmares were horrible. A dark hole beneath a rotten house, maggots crawling all over her skin as it was slowly burning. She screamed and tried to dig her way out of the ground, but all it did was make it darker around her, until she started suffocating.

He was her nightmare, he was the darkness, and he swallowed her until the only option she had was to obey. It wasn’t as if she had many options, not when he threatened to kill everyone she knew if she didn’t.

The only good thing was that his plan wasn’t too complicated, she didn’t have to actually sacrifice a virgin, dig up a corpse or anything as horrible as that, something she was happy about because the mental torture she’d gone through was more than enough to last her several lifetimes.

The night before his grand plan Lydia went to bed as normal. Just as she reached for her pills, which were the only thing keeping her sane, the voice calmly told her to drop them. Without thinking, she released them. She didn’t pay any attention to the pills as they hit the floor before shooting everywhere.

She listened to him, laying down against the pillow, her head feeling ten times heavier than normal, and closed her eyes when the light in the room blinded her.

Slowly her body temperature increased, and it felt as if her head was filled with cotton. She heard a faint chanting around her as her whole body relaxed, the voice then told her everything would be just fine, and she believed him, just like in the beginning, when she actually trusted him.

Her body started to relax, and responded to the changes in a way she hadn't expected. Her mind started to drift off, making her skin ten times more sensitive, until she had to gasp for breath. Every time she moved her breath was caught in her throat.

The voice continued to whisper calming words, the chanting sounding closer for every second that passed, until it sounded as if it came from her room. Images she couldn’t describe flashed in front of her eyes, sending her mind into a state where there was no longer pain, where she forgot everything bad that happened to her, about the nightmares. That was when the familiar, yet strange, feeling build itself around her lower body.

Even in her dreamy state she recognized what was happening, and even if she wasn’t having sex, her body still ached for the release she knew would come if she continued. Every inch of her skin ached for more, until it felt as if her mind exploded, and the wonderful feeling that build itself in her body pulsed through her body, before wrapping itself around her mind. It felt as if she lay on a cloud, and thousands of butterflies fluttered around her, making her feel extremely good. She had lost hope that she would ever feel as calm and happy again.

 _'Sleep,'_ the voice said when the worst had passed. She didn’t want to listen, but her body wouldn’t listen to her and slowly drifted off.

She didn’t know exactly what would happen once she woke up, only that people would get hurt, but right then she couldn’t care less. For the first time in a month, she was able to sleep without pills, without nightmare.


End file.
